There are a few things that probably can cause an enormous, ungainly, spontaneous change in most human beings. I, for one, am not entirely sure what they are. Why the intro then? There is no point to it. As a matter of fact, I could care less about why, who, where, when, what the significance of the causes are. It's there, that's all there is to know. Yes, I often wonder why and what. But every answer I come across has only opened another question then mostly goes to a cycle or questions before reaching the pre-destined web of questions that I should have foreseen. We grew up with these. Consciousness and choice. Although most of what we know is a reflection of what everyone else knows based on what everyone else know, knew, and who knows what else. We were all taught something, a few things. Learned a few things as well, as long as our will takes over, or in most cases the will of others. We all know how wrong is often made rather than the right and still we believe we're right even if our right is not necessarily the right of the other person we've wronged. It's a shame there is no real standard to human values. But nether the less, we have always chosen what we believe is right because of feeling. Now, what trained this feeling? Is it what we were taught? IS it what we have learned? Is it our consciousness or our unconsciousness? Or is it something we would like to believe in Just because at some point of our lives, at a most likely forgotten day of event, we heard/saw/felt/tasted something better than what we always had? These are all just questions that relate to the human zombie autopilot reckless beings that we are.
I am writing this to gather my thoughts, so I apologize for sounding a little pathetic or stupid. It's just difficult to understand why choices always have to have consequences. "To every action there is always an equal reaction". Yes you've heard of this. Everyone has. It's not difficult at all to comprehend yet it is something a few really learn early. My couch in basketball told us before that "you have not learned anything until you have applied it". I always remembered that because I always thought it was something worth keeping and something to help me through the coming years. Yes, it has helped. Not in a way that necessarily made me apply things immediately. I did my fare part to experience the opposite of my credo. Now, after all those adventures, I made it a mission not to repeat them. Yes, I did fail at much, but I also succeeded with the most important parts of my beliefs and values. There are still more of the important choices to make. It was made clear to me due to recent events. Although, I still know that no matter what those are, they or at least most of them is more likely not to matter at all. My hands alone cannot build bridges.
Let's evaluate this nonsense I have just written. Or not. There is no point to these thoughts I have been babbling about the past 10 minutes.
1:27am 3 March 2011
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