Monday, November 28, 2011
This smile is dangerous for it can knock a man off his feet
But that is not the worse part of it
It is one that cannot be unseen
It draws you in for the kill
And it does
Forgetting everything else
You chase it like a hound
Crazily chasing pain
Like a drug, addictive you are
It cannot be unseen
I am at the mercy of her smile
4:17am 20 November 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Look at the man next to you will he be in the way?
Or will you taste the twist of fate?
When the silence overwhelms and the ground shakes of terror
Look around and watch them break to dust
And from dust to thought
And smiles to freezing breath of ice
I hold you dear
I keep you near
I can never see you pass
Not before me
So please don't go
Please don't break
There is always more in this place
For us to take, if not the world
We can stand, just please don't break
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Then let me tell you this.
You have not sacrificed everything.
Not until you don't expect anything in return.
Not even the luxury of feeling the worth of your sacrifice.
It's basic, but as human beings we often have to be reminded of these things.
2:28am 28 September 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
I just woke up, it's 7:21 am. I'm pretty sure I went to sleep after 4am.
I just had a nightmare. I saw an old woman crying that turned into a creature with multiple eyes just where her eyes start and her hair ends. She screamed as her eyes multiplied. I saw a man turn into clay and shatter as he walked pass me. I felt the flapping of wings fly around my back like a thousand cockroaches making their presence felt.
Then I think Raiden spoke to me. Or at least someone who resembles Raiden from the first Mortal Combat movie. I know, a bit funny now but the conversation I believe was serious. I only remember our last words which went like this:
Me: "Nothing I can do, it is done."
Raiden: "You can't cure reality when reality is part of the cure."
7:28am 07 Sept 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
3:08am 03 June 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Hail The Horsemen (Lyrics for a song I'm writing: To be positive about yourself)
Posted by Unknown at 12:19 AMSaturday, March 12, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
I have seen a few stars when I gazed upon the heavens
And the moon has not shined upon me since that day
This is what it feels like
To bleed
To hate
To love
To break
The sky has no favor amongst men
The world is but a breath
And the path you choose is inevitable
To pierce your soul
To create a barrier from realization
To breathe real air but not realize you're suffocating
Your chest collapses in the space you're bound to
There is no escape
You have fallen
And fallen even more
You beg forgiveness for something you're not sure you have fault
"The tides will not turn", is something you know
Yet you tell yourself it will always be better
Your tears will fall in vain
But I will not cry
At least allow me this, oh cruel world
Have you not taken enough?
The sky bleeds red as I see it in my eyes
The crowd smiles and spits upon your face
They do not know what you think or feel
They may know similar
But never the same
A rogue
A colt
A dream yet to be seen for it is alone in queue
I can taste the scent of every breath she has made
And that alone is enough to take me to this place
She is not with me yet she is always in my thoughts
I plead to forget but my heart won’t allow it
The silence never seems to make itself useful
Instead, it crowds your thoughts of nostalgia and grief of loss
No, she is not dead
I am.
The only light I get is but a brief sense of peace
There is no peace
There is no rest
I will carve the lights of the cosmos to blend with my pain
I can see no other way
I must stay alive
Even if it means the death of my name and my castle
Cursed be the land
For it has no use to me
Cursed be the skies for it has forsaken me
And cursed be the creature that calls themselves "man"
For they are but less
I am less
My heart has not broken
It has been stabbed by love
Still the greatest weapon there is
A low blow to the soul's groins
FFFFFFFFF ack!
Tweeeeet!
And Baaaaa!
I am okay
The silence will once again be my friend
The life I had before is now mine again
Thank you for the love
Thank you for the kisses
The hugs
The promises
Thank you world for your filth
I am sad to say I cannot repay you
I do not have it in me
I have outgrown your ways
5:57Am 11 March 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
without lie, without guilt, without true fault
This man, one with regret, but won't be the man he is
He is angry, hiding it as if it was nothing
This man has fought countless battles
Be it the battle with others or himself
The question of what honor is crosses his mind
Is it worth the joy of what he once had?
Will this world continue to grow filthy as he still stands as one?
The tired man faces only a blade as his fate
This world does not deserve the honor of such a man
Oh, comrades, there is no place for men without anything to fight for
There is only a man, a sword, a belief, and his honor
How can one fight a world without it?
How can one live without the fight?
Still be the water and calm be the night
This man has one last fight
3 March 2011 12:37am
Monday, February 28, 2011
It was not an unusual night. There was the cold breeze, the darkness, and some people walking by who looked like they were part of a movie set. There was this particular woman, wearing a white dress that night. It‘s hard to describe exactly what she was wearing. It was simple and elegant. She was beautiful in her simplicity. She reminded me of garden party scenes. Someone you know would be easy to love and easy marry.
I noticed it was late, so I knew I had to be going home. I decided to go to a bar and get a beer. Just one beer wouldn’t hurt; I was not in a hurry for anything. This proves how pointless my opening statement was.
At the bar, there were more foreigners than natives and for some reason I felt more comfortable. At least I didn’t have to worry about anyone I know seeing me at that time. There was this man, though. He was also a foreigner. You know how open they are to just talk to anyone? Well, he did talk to me. I sort of didn’t mind but I was hearing him blabber about his daughter and how beautiful she was and how single she was too. Now, that may be fine but I really wasn’t interested. I didn’t know how to give him a “leave me alone” gesture that wouldn’t be offensive. And so, I just listened to him talk about everything that I don’t know and have no plans of knowing about. I blanked out of course. Then the inevitable, my one bottle beer turned into two bottles, then three. Later, I was surrounded by foreign women and what seemed to be their husbands near the billiard table. Well, I cannot be entirely sure, but I believe they weren’t all married, because I wouldn’t have my arm around one of the foreign women that night. Yes, I was drunk. I thought I needed to get away before I do anything stupid. I knew where this was going.
So, I tripped and tumbled on my way out of the bar. I think I even bumped my head on one of the posts holding the roof of the walkway. I was trying to remember how much I drank while walking home, just so walking home won’t feel like walking home.
As I neared the place I reside in, I couldn’t help but overhear the arguments of a couple who were just a few meters from me. They were in my path. The man talked argued that the woman cheated first, and the woman argued that she wouldn’t have done that if he wasn’t close enough to another woman that it seemed that he was also cheating. I wasn’t as drunk anymore upon hearing something I would call harsh equality. I tried my best not to look at them but I don’t think they even knew that I was present and was passing by. I thought of the woman I saw earlier that night. You know, the beautiful, elegant woman in white. If only it were that easy. But I know from experience that the love I seek is not the easy love. Yes, easy to fall in-love with, but not so easy as to keep. So, the marriage part, even if I know that I cannot provide what is needed in the physical world. I know I’m ready for everything else. It’s just strange that we, as flawed beings of this universe, always complicate what is already complicated to begin with, when it’s as easy as breathing.
May 2009
Sunday, February 27, 2011
I now know why "breakups" or "cool-offs" are difficult. It's the fact that you wouldn't know how bad or worse things could get in the near future. It’s like Schrodinger’s cat; in the experiment, where a cat is put in a box along with a flask containing poison and a radioactive source, is placed in a sealed box. If an internal Geiger counter detects radiation, the flask is shattered, releasing the poison that kills the cat. Now, you’re going to have to open the box to find out if the cat is dead or alive. You would have to live with the assumption that the cat is still alive or dead. In that sense, the cat is simultaneously alive and dead. Yet, when we look in the box, we see the cat is alive or dead, not both alive and dead. At least that’s according to Copenhegen interpretation.
Looking into the “alive or dead” part of the experiment in relation to my current situation, I will never be sure that she will still have the same feelings that I have for her in the long run of this situation. And she too should be thinking the same of me, at least that’s how I see it. But I will never change my mind about her.
Now, going to the “dead and alive” bit of the example given, I have no clue what so ever to what that means. All I can say is that I interpret that in our current situation to be pushing forward, living on without meaning, without enough reason to breathe. Like a real walking dead.
I wouldn’t have known about Schrodinger’s cat if it wasn’t for her. She was the one who showed me the book, or at least a few pages of it. I guess all I can do is wait it off. She’s running this experiment and I just have to wait till’ she’s ready. Opening the box in time is up to us and hopefully the cat is still alive. I’ll be waiting.