Something has really gotten out of hand. Has my actions from the past echoed to my present that much? I never wanted this. There were things I should and should not have done, I know. I have no real intentions. I only have questions. And now, more questions seem to keep me up. Or keep me down, should be the right thing to say. Echo. Sleep. And never come back. I tried to be as civil and clear minded. Why am I accused for something I never did? Now, like I said, I don't care. Yes, say that I do. I have only used my eyes. Neglected to hear. And had spoken, but not anymore. I don't want to remember anymore if all I will see are shadows and all I can hear are echoes. I hate you, I love you. You still don't know that I know what you did. I was awake. I did not leave just yet. I heard. I trusted you make the decision to be loyal. You didn't. I knew you were trying to fix things with me. I tried, it was not easy. It's difficult to fix something while trying to hold your heart in place. I was holding it. I kept it there. Until I saw you with him. And that smile I saw from his face just reminded me of the demon smile of a criminal. How could you do this to me? I gave you all my love. I stayed loyal. I did everything for you. I almost rushed you to the hospital when I heard you fall. I told you I'll love you always. You told me that there can be no one else and it was just me. Where has this gone? How can you say you want to get married when this could happen just like that? How can you be with someone that everyone knows has someone else? How can you, someone I know, knew wanted to do all sort of decent and right things, to fix, to help. You, who told me stories of assholes you've met and heard about, and bitches you hate their names. I do not understand. I have not asked. I do not want to offend you.
I never tried to steal your friends. You introduced them to me to be my friends as well. And so, they too are my friends. I cannot say goodbye. I did say it but I cannot accomplish it. My friends were not as present as yours, so I complained about my situation to them. Not to give you a difficult time. I needed people to talk to. I needed to weep. Remember that night I promised to leave them alone. I did. I will not be a jerk and not reply when someone talks to me, especially if they talk to me decently. And I know how good people they are. I did not attempt anything of the sort to steal them from you. Why do you accuse me of this? What is running through your head? What has been going on with you these past few months? Who are you? You're still there, I know. The you I know is still there. Come back. You don't even have to come back to me. Just remember your footsteps. You are breaking my heart more this way. Please, come back.
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