I am a man who started as a boy with countless opportunities in this world. It's no figure of speech. As time can cruelly be, he slowly or quickly took away most of them. I don't blame time. My choices every time I found my self in crossroads have not exactly been the wisest choices to make, considering how the world works. I do not regret them, for I have kept my self along the way. Instead, I now see that there was more than just 'A' or 'B'. That's what I was always afraid of. Having more choices than what makes life easier. Why? Because, having more than two choices means there are more chances to make a mistake and fail. I was wrong. I never saw the other half of it, there is also more chances for me to succeed in succeeding. I am now one who can't really tell you who he is. No words can really describe a person for who he/she is. I can look at you and guess what made you you but cannot still describe who you are. Your face does not leave a mark on me at all; it's who you were when I knew you. I only hope, if you see things the same as I, that I am known to you as a good man.
I bleed, I cry, I laugh, I smile, I'm intelligent, I'm a dumb ass, I am funny, I am sad, I am irritating, I am loveable, I am angry. What else? I care too much for others. I respect too much, trust too easily, I love, I hate, I feel pain, I tend to be apathetic in times, and I am a raging ball of fiery rolled something. Whew! Yes, I am that. I am more and so are you. I do not choose to be angry; I don't remember why I easily get angry. Sometimes, what one needs to do is to get angry. Just be careful not to lose yourself completely. Even if it means being angry without acting upon it to others.
I have experienced this. I do not understand the breakups, when promises have been made. I am not one to give my word about something that easily. Remember? That night, you asked me why I see you. I said, "Because I have fallen deeply in-love with you and I will love you ALWAYS". Now, I'm at work. I can't do my job properly, but I'm doing my best. I cannot play with my words like you do. I do not see what you see. I will be a better man. That, I promise.
If there is one thing I would want to say to you. It would be that I love you completely so please look enough to know that you're the one I want to go through time with.
23 January 2006
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